I held a baby Friday, and my anxiety went haywire. Will I ever have a baby? Will I feel that feeling of holding my own baby? Every day I see my chances for having a baby slowly fade away. I know there will be a few of you who will say, “it will happen one day.” or say, “don’t give up on your dream.” And I would like to thank you for the encouragement, but my anxiety and depression do not care about what you think (please do not judge me for that thought). I see the joy and the fullness a child can bring to your life, and I want that. Is that hard to get? Do I deserve that feeling? I battle with the pressure of not knowing if or when I will have a child. I see a baby, and the tears begin to pour down my face like a summer rainstorm. I want the fullness; I want the feeling of unconditional love. I want to see a baby with skin like mine and eyes like my husband. I want to watch them grow. God, I desire motherhood. When will that day come? Please be soon.
Baby Come Soon
Posted byarispeaksoutPosted inBlack Mental Illness, Depression, Family, Love, Marriage, mental Health, Relationships, UncategorizedTags:Anxiety, Black Bloggers, Black Families, Black Love, Black Mother, Black People with Mental Illness, Depression, Doubt, Emotions, failures, Family, Fears, Finding Peace In Difficult Times, GAD, Journaling, Love, Marriage, Mental Health Awareness, Racing Thoughts, Relationships, Woman Blogger
Published by arispeaksout
Hi! I am Ari AKA Ariel Davis, and welcome to my page! I wanted to start this page to get the stigma off of mental health. As a person, that deals with mental illness, I know the importance of having someone to listen to you. Please feel free to join in the conversation! I hope you enjoy my page! View more posts
2 thoughts on “Baby Come Soon”
You posted this on my birthday and it’s exactly what I have been struggling with even on that day. Not knowing is so tough. No potential suitor in site makes it even harder to imagine the possibility, and time just keeps passing by. Seeing everyone else’s turn come is painful. I too have cried when seeing those with children. You’re not alone and thank you for giving words to those feelings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing your experience. We will get through this ❤️