“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”
I can’t find rest. I want to be able to relax, but I can’t. I sit up, eat, and cry on the inside. I am beginning not to like myself. I feel like a waste of time and not worthy of love. My family loves me, and my friends respect me, but I don’t feel it. I wish I could see myself the way they see me. I don’t know why depression takes control of my thoughts. I hate it! When will I get my happiness back? Maybe I don’t deserve it. Perhaps I am asking for too much. There is something deep down inside of me that wants to run away. But how would that help me? I can’t just leave the people that love and support me.
I need to become a better version of myself. I need to give myself more grace. I know that these depressive thoughts will go away. But I also know that it will never go away entirely, and I must figure out how to handle it. I can’t let depression overtake me. Depression doesn’t have to define me. Depression can’t keep me from living. I have so much life to live. I want to stand tall and show others that depression doesn’t have the final say over their lives. But it starts with me letting depression know that it will never win.