Thoughts at 1 Something AM

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”

                                                                        -Juliette Lewis

I can’t find rest. I want to be able to relax, but I can’t. I sit up, eat, and cry on the inside. I am beginning not to like myself. I feel like a waste of time and not worthy of love. My family loves me, and my friends respect me, but I don’t feel it. I wish I could see myself the way they see me. I don’t know why depression takes control of my thoughts. I hate it! When will I get my happiness back? Maybe I don’t deserve it. Perhaps I am asking for too much. There is something deep down inside of me that wants to run away. But how would that help me? I can’t just leave the people that love and support me.

I need to become a better version of myself. I need to give myself more grace. I know that these depressive thoughts will go away. But I also know that it will never go away entirely, and I must figure out how to handle it. I can’t let depression overtake me. Depression doesn’t have to define me. Depression can’t keep me from living. I have so much life to live. I want to stand tall and show others that depression doesn’t have the final say over their lives. But it starts with me letting depression know that it will never win.

Published by arispeaksout

Hi! I am Ari AKA Ariel Davis, and welcome to my page! I wanted to start this page to get the stigma off of mental health. As a person, that deals with mental illness, I know the importance of having someone to listen to you. Please feel free to join in the conversation! I hope you enjoy my page!

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