Me: Hey Anxiety. I want to tell you some good news.
Anxiety: Good news? What is it?
Me: Yes! I got a job!!! After being jobless for 3 and a half months, I got a job!
*Read at 10:30 PM
Me: Hello? Are you there?
Me: So, no good job or congrats?
Anxiety: Why would I do that?
Me: Because I got a job. Why are you acting like this?
Anxiety: LOL! Now you know this job is not going to last.
Me: Why would you say that? I really wanted this job, and I am glad that I have it.
Anxiety: Because you’re a screw-up. You will find a way to mess it up.
Me: No. This job is perfect for me.
Anxiety: Oh yeah? LOL. Okay Ari.
Me: What does that mean?
Anxiety: Ari, you are not right for this job. You always think that a job will work out and by year one you’re burned out or you dip.
Me: This job is different. This position was designed for me. My bosses love me. They made me feel like I am a part of a family.
Anxiety: Give them time. They will find out how unstable you are, and you’ll be out.
Me: That’s not true. Stop being so negative.
*Read at 11:15 PM
Anxiety: Look. Think about it; this job requires you to help people find the right job, right?
Anxiety: But you don’t even know what job is right for you!
Me: I do know! The other jobs weren’t the right fit for me.
Anxiety: How do you know this job is? You really think you got it right now? Like, suddenly the right job just fell out of the sky for you?
Me: I know this is the right job for me.
Anxiety: LMAO! Girl bye!
Me: Why are you being this way? This is supposed to be a joyous time.
Anxiety: FOR WHO?? You’re going to mess up and EVERYBODY will see how much of a failure you are.
*Read at 12:25 AM
Anxiety: I got you thinking huh?
Anxiety: You know I am right.
Anxiety: Quit before they find out that you’re a fraud girl.
Me: I am NOT a fraud. I WILL NOT FAIL!
Anxiety: Are you sure? Like on a scale from 1-to 10, how sure are you?
Me: A million!
Me: I never felt so complete. I not going to let you keep me doubting myself.
Anxiety: But that’s why we are friends! I keep you freaking out until you lose your will to keep going and then you bail. I like this setup.
Anxiety: So don’t get comfy girl!
Me: ENOUGH! I am going to do great! I don’t care what you say.
Anxiety: Well, I’ll let you have your little fun. But trust me, you’ll be texting me soon about how this job was a mistake.
Me: Nah, I am done with that and with you.
Anxiety: LOL. Girl you know I am not going anywhere.
Me: That might be true, but this time I will be ready for whatever you throw my way friend.
Anxiety: We’ll see. Bye girl.
Me: Whatever. Bye.