The Rough Seas are Ending

I decided that I had enough crying, and I wanted to speak to my Heavenly spirits to see what directions I needed to go. The cards I pulled fit, but I still felt hurt and anxious. As I was shuffling my cards to put them away, The Six of Swords jumped out of the deck faced upright. I began reading the message that the Heavenly Spirits wanted me to know. The line that stuck out to me was, “The Six of Swords invites you to let go of whatever is holding you back, be it from your past or your present circumstances.” Man, Heavenly Spirits, you do not play games.

I have been holding on to my exiting my Director position. I felt that I let the families down that. I was helping in that position. I felt like I let my husband, and if I did not fix the problem, he would leave (my thoughts, not his). I kept getting rejected from jobs that I knew I could do great in but was not given a chance to show them. And now I am on pins and needles because I am waiting for a job to get back to me to see if they want me, making me worry more.

After reading this message, I understand that I will not be ready for this job or any job if I keep looking behind me. I cannot fix the past. It is only up to me to leave it behind and look towards the horizon. I am tired of holding on to things that I do not need to. I am ready for these rough seas to calm down so I can enjoy what the future has for me; I am releasing myself from this baggage to see the good that is coming to me.

Thank you, Heavenly Spirits, for giving me direction. I am glad I opened myself up to you again.

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The Chariot Reversed

I recently got into tarot cards. When I was younger and fully invested in organized religion, I thought tarot cards and their readings were “ungodly” (poor little Ari). Tonight I decided to pull cards because I am trying to figure out where I need to focus my attention. I have been out of work for about two months, and I would be lying to you if I said that my being without work was not weighing on me mentally. As I drew my cards, The Chariot card popped out of my hand onto my desk. When I flipped it over, I noticed that it was reversed. I went to look up what my Heavenly Spirits wanted me to know about where to place my focus, and their message took my breath away. Their message said, “You are letting obstacles and challenges get in the way, preventing you from achieving what you set out to do.” Why are you slapping me across my face, Heavenly Spirits? Since walking away from my job, my love for my vision started cooling down some. I began to think that what I was dreaming about was not worth chasing anymore. Seeing The Chariot Reversed made me understand it was time to stop feeling defeated from the battle I had just finished, and it was time to end the war. My purpose is more significant than any obstacle could be. I cannot let the flame burn out because where I left could not see my heart. It was not up to me to change their minds, but it is up to me to help change people’s lives.

After reading The Chariot Reversed card, I realized that I could not keep allowing walls that I built from my doubt to keep me from achieving my purpose. I am here on Earth for a reason, and it is not to allow others to keep me trapped, even if that person is myself. I am here to be the cheerleader for the community. I am here to be the voice for the unheard ones. I am here to show people that no matter what is in their way, they can still get to their purpose if they keep pushing towards it.

Thank you, Heavenly Spirits, for showing me the way out of my darkness.  

The Storm of Tears

I sobbed today during therapy. I just felt so overwhelmed that I couldn’t help but cry. It has been so hard not being where I want to be in life. Please don’t get me wrong; I am thankful for everything I have, but I want a little more comfort. It hurts so much thinking that everything is going right, and all of a sudden, you run into the wall. It’s been a month and a half of me running into walls. It’s killing me. I want some relief from these constant blocks in my way. I know that I have to accept that I can’t control everything, but could I have control of one thing? I am sick of crying. I am sick of being stuck in this runt. This hurt is something I would not put on anyone. I can’t even close my eyes to sleep without being hit over the head with all the negative thoughts that float around. I feel so uncomfortable in my body. Happiness feels so foreign and distant. I want happiness, but I may be wishing for too much. I am just tired. I feel like a child lost in a big store trying to find their mom. There is a small piece of me that is still praying for the day that the clouds of uncertainty and sadness would break away from me. But who knows if that day will ever come. But for now, I will deal with the clouds.

2022 Rules

Listen up 2022! You just got here, so I need you to play nice, okay? I have some pointers, so you know how to handle yourself around me.

1. Do not bring up past issues.

2. Stay consistent.

3. Stay in the moment.

4. If you cannot get it done today, chill. We still have time.

5. If it is not working out, we can walk away.

6. We can cry whenever we want to, and it will not make us look weak.

7. We will not be defeated.

8. You will give grace when a screw-up happens.

9. You do not have to answer phone calls or text messages for people who do not value your peace.

10. There is no set pace we need to have to get goals done.

11. No comparing

12. No take-backs. We are going all the way no matter how tough it may be.

13. Go to bed at a decent time (this will be tough for us, but I think we can do it).

14. Talk nicely to yourself.

I know there seems like a lot to take in, but guess what? We have the time to make it happen. We are not in any hurry 2022. Let’s get to it!

Hello Goodbye 2021

Hi 2021,

I want to say that you really made me work this year mentally. I honestly cannot believe that I am still standing. I was hard on myself, and I almost felt that it wasn’t a purpose for me. But thankfully, I had my angels on Earth and in Heaven to comfort me. 2021 you taught me that I should not regret or doubt when I walk away from things and people that do not bring me peace. No matter who or what I am walking from, it will be okay. 2021 you made me cry a lot, but it was because you were resetting me for something greater. Something that I cannot even imagine. You kept the people I love and respect around me safe from harm. You kept my mother and my husband and I COVID-free! Thank you for favor.

I know you are not in control of what 2022 has in store for me, but one thing you did do was prepare me for whatever comes my way. I thank you for all the lessons that I learned along the way. You truly shaped me for the better.

See ya,

Ari

A December Love #22

This is my last letter to my husband. Thank you all for joining me on this journey. I hope you enjoyed reading about my love.

Hey Hun,

We made it another year. Four years to be exact. This year has been a year. We dealt with many ups and downs, but through it, all our love remained solid. The love we have doesn’t have to look perfect to the outside world because it works for us. I am still drawn to you like the day I first met you. I love picking your brain. I love taking walks with you. I love sending you funny videos. I just love being in love with my best friend. You respect me, and you are always standing up for me. I will never get enough of you. I feel your love all over me. You give me a glow as if I am the sun. Thank you for being a great man and a great husband.

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” -Emily Bronte

You are my favorite craving.

Happy Anniversary hun.

Your Wife

A December Love #21

Hun,

I am in love with all of you. Your heart. Your voice. Your eyes. Your smile. I just love all of you Hun. Nothing else matters when I am around you. Your love protects me. It is great to know that I can find peace with you. I will forever love you. You are a fairytale that will have an ending. I get lost in my thoughts of you. Heartbreak has been a distant stranger since we became one. I am blessed to have you as my life partner and my husband. I know that I can be a little (well, maybe a lot) hot to handle, but you do it with no issues. We are the greatest pair I know. I would not want it any other way. Thank you for smiling with me and holding me while I cry. The heart knows what it wants, and it was always you. I want to travel the world with you and soak up the sun with you. I cannot wait to grow old with you. I could never find someone that could top you, nor do I want to. It feels good to be with you.

“It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.” -Vladimir Nabokov

You are important to me.

Your Wife

A December Love #20

Dear Hun,

Being next to you is everything to me. In a world that changes every day, I am happy our love can stand firm. I know that this is selfish, but I want you to myself forever. You handle my love like treasure. You have the biggest heart I know. And not to make you blush, but you are a great-looking man (wink). The world makes sense with you by my side. Our love has no limits. When I look at you, I get lost for words. Our love is a force that nobody can mess with. I am with you until the end of the earth. I love you without any doubts or fears. I am head over heels in love and like with you. I want to hold your heart in my hand forever.

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” -Aristotle

I love the love you have for me.

Your Wife

A December Love #19

Hun,

I used to say that I wish I had met you sooner because we would be together loner, but the timing worked out. I needed time to understand what I wanted. I needed time to fix things to ensure that I did not put past relationship issues on you. I needed to find myself. And with you, you needed to know if love was what you were feeling. You needed to know if you could trust me with your heart. You needed to know that building a family was for you. Timing made sure that we were ready for each other. We deserved the other’s best self. I am happy that timing did its part. You are all I need, and your presence says the same thing to me. You take me higher. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for being kind to me. You are a breath of fresh air. Your spirit brings stillness to mine.

“I want for all time to fill the spaces between your fingers with mine.” – JS Parker

Our love is on another planet.

Your Wife  

A December Love #18

Honey,

I am glad that I have you in my life. I fell in love with you because you never judged me. I fell in love with you because you treat me like a friend. You make me feel important. You value my love. I love when I am down, you will come to be without me asking and hold me tight. And like butter, I melt. You push me to be a better woman. You help me dream my dreams. That moment I said I love you, I saw forever. You show how to love a person more each day. It was nobody else for me but you. I genuinely love to be around you.

“Maybe… You’ll fall in love with me all over again.” -Ernest Hemingway

Love,

Your Wife