Thoughts at 1 Something AM

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”                                                                         -Juliette Lewis I can’t find rest. I want to be able to relax, but I can’t. I sit up, eat, and cry on the inside. I am beginning not to like myself. I feel like a waste of time

Thoughts From the Notebook

Will I ever be good enough? Will I ever be able to assist people and accept their thanks? I want to be able to see what others see in me. My mama always tells me that I am amazing and that she is thankful for me. Why can’t I see that? I don’t know if

A Letter to Depression

Depression, I do not know why you picked this time of the year to show yourself, but I would like it if you went the fuck away. I am sick of being drained. I am sick of feeling like a burden to my family and friends. Does it make you feel better that I am

Love Me

I love me I love me not I love me I love me not I don’t know what I love about me What is there to love about a woman who’s mentally struggling? I am so depleted from running away from love I don’t know if I ever loved me Why should I? Love is

Depression Is

Depression is like falling down a hole but never reaching the bottom Depression is like never seeing the sun Depression is a family of Elephants sitting on your back Depression is living in heavy fog Depression is barely breathing Depression is being trapped out in the middle of the ocean Depression is being lost out

Cards to Live By

I was feeling down on Saturday, so I decided to pull some cards. And these cards did not miss! I mean, let me break it down: Temperance Reversed: I have been dealing with a depressive episode for the past two months and was not treating my body right. Between stuffing my face with food and

Texting Anxiety

*9:00 PM Me: Hey Anxiety. I want to tell you some good news. Anxiety: Good news? What is it? Me: Yes! I got a job!!! After being jobless for 3 and a half months, I got a job! *Read at 10:30 PM *10:50 PM Me: Hello? Are you there? Anxiety: Yeah. Me: So, no good

A Little Pick Me Up for Little Ari

Hey Little Ari!   I know this week has been rough for you, but I wanted to write you something that will put a smile on your face. I hope these words will make you realize that you are loved and valued. Little Ari, you are allowed to cry about losing something that you wanted.

Stupid Girl

Why did I allow myself to think that I could bring back something that was never meant to be? I wish I didn’t care as much as I do about this. It has never been a time when I felt so stupid as I do right now. I am so quick to think that everything

Black Tears on Loop

Black Tears on Loop Yesterday, I saw a piece in the museum by Ebony G. Patterson called ‘…the kings weep…”  that made me cry. The work is a video installation that portrays three men dressing while tears quietly roll down their cheeks. While the three men are dressing, you hear the voice of a young