The Storm of Tears

I sobbed today during therapy. I just felt so overwhelmed that I couldn’t help but cry. It has been so hard not being where I want to be in life. Please don’t get me wrong; I am thankful for everything I have, but I want a little more comfort. It hurts so much thinking that everything is going right, and all of a sudden, you run into the wall. It’s been a month and a half of me running into walls. It’s killing me. I want some relief from these constant blocks in my way. I know that I have to accept that I can’t control everything, but could I have control of one thing? I am sick of crying. I am sick of being stuck in this runt. This hurt is something I would not put on anyone. I can’t even close my eyes to sleep without being hit over the head with all the negative thoughts that float around. I feel so uncomfortable in my body. Happiness feels so foreign and distant. I want happiness, but I may be wishing for too much. I am just tired. I feel like a child lost in a big store trying to find their mom. There is a small piece of me that is still praying for the day that the clouds of uncertainty and sadness would break away from me. But who knows if that day will ever come. But for now, I will deal with the clouds.