“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” -Juliette Lewis I can’t find rest. I want to be able to relax, but I can’t. I sit up, eat, and cry on the inside. I am beginning not to like myself. I feel like a waste of timeContinue reading “Thoughts at 1 Something AM”
Category Archives: Family
A Letter to Depression
Depression, I do not know why you picked this time of the year to show yourself, but I would like it if you went the fuck away. I am sick of being drained. I am sick of feeling like a burden to my family and friends. Does it make you feel better that I amContinue reading “A Letter to Depression”
Texting Anxiety
*9:00 PM Me: Hey Anxiety. I want to tell you some good news. Anxiety: Good news? What is it? Me: Yes! I got a job!!! After being jobless for 3 and a half months, I got a job! *Read at 10:30 PM *10:50 PM Me: Hello? Are you there? Anxiety: Yeah. Me: So, no goodContinue reading “Texting Anxiety”
A Little Pick Me Up for Little Ari
Hey Little Ari! I know this week has been rough for you, but I wanted to write you something that will put a smile on your face. I hope these words will make you realize that you are loved and valued. Little Ari, you are allowed to cry about losing something that you wanted.Continue reading “A Little Pick Me Up for Little Ari”
Stupid Girl
Why did I allow myself to think that I could bring back something that was never meant to be? I wish I didn’t care as much as I do about this. It has never been a time when I felt so stupid as I do right now. I am so quick to think that everythingContinue reading “Stupid Girl”
Black Tears on Loop
Black Tears on Loop Yesterday, I saw a piece in the museum by Ebony G. Patterson called ‘…the kings weep…” that made me cry. The work is a video installation that portrays three men dressing while tears quietly roll down their cheeks. While the three men are dressing, you hear the voice of a youngContinue reading “Black Tears on Loop”
The Shift
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” — Maya Angelou Going into my 35th year this year, I noticed that I have been shifting a lot in the past two years. And this shift that is taking place is not pleasant.Continue reading “The Shift”
Baby Girl
Hi Baby Girl, This is your mama. I know that God has not sent you to me yet, but I want to talk to you because I can feel you near me. I am trying my hardest to be the best woman I can be to be ready for you. I dream about you often.Continue reading “Baby Girl”
Note to Self
Hey Ari, I am proud of you. Even though the past two months have not been the best for you, you are still standing. Thank you for not giving up because it has been challenging. I know that you have been down, but you were never out. In these couple of months, you learned thatContinue reading “Note to Self”
Hello Old Friend
Hi Old Friend, Wow. It’s been a while since I spoke to you. You randomly came into my mind today, and I thought it would only be fair to reach out to you. I want you to know that I am not mad at you. I do not hate you. I still love you, andContinue reading “Hello Old Friend”
Ari Speaks Out 